I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
