You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
