So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
do herpes really smell.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
