so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
