omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
