She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
