we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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