i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
