i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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