I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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