ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
