Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
