there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
