i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
