i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
