I need help removing her.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
