im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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