and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
