Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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