tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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