just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
