Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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