Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
