youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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