Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
