I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
