She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
