I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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