Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
