He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Couch. On fire.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
