Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!

(708): View more from Illinois

read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy

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(661): View more from California

I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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(619): View more from California

By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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(913): View more from Kansas

How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

(913): View more from Kansas

1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

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(505): View more from New Mexico

She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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(716): View more from New York

You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me

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(802): View more from Vermont

You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.

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