I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
