do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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