i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
