Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
