Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize