I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
