The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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