I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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