So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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