I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
