Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
