My friends, they love my intelligence
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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