She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
