Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
