I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
