all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
