the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize