oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize