I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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