I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
