New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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