I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
