'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
