bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
