Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
