She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
