Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize