Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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