Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
