on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
