I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
